In My Opinion
By Lynn Paris

God and Christianity 101-1

If I had a million dollars I'd share it with my kids to try to make their lives better, and neither of them would get annoyed with me. If I discovered a lifestyle where they’d never get sick again, I'd talk about it and share it and no one would be offended. If I told them I’d had dream in which I’d clearly seen the winning lottery numbers, I bet they’d take a chance and buy a ticket, and not find the sharing of my dream offensive. It's a natural tendency, especially for a parent, to share with their children, especially the good things, the things you honestly believe would enrich their lives. But for whatever reason, when it comes to God, my kids DO get offended. They seem to feel that I’m trying to impose my beliefs on them rather than share them. I suppose it's partly because you can't SEE God, or decide to have faith if you don't. I suppose it’s also because Christians are known for their evangelizing.

And yet, because it's given me so much, including a richer, more fulfilling life, and because it's helped me and Jim become better people with a “kindler, gentler” marriage and "kinder, gentler" friends, of COURSE I want to share that with my kids. And that’s really what evangelizing is—not the forced imposition of my religion on someone who doesn’t want it. Too often evangelizing conjures up those awful images from our history books; we’ve all learned about the heavy-handed Christian missionaries and the Native Americans and none of us wants that.

I guess with both of my children I just want to be understood I want them to fully understand what they think they don’t want. I know that each of them has now accepted the fact that Mom takes this whole “God thing” seriously. And I know that each of them had to struggle with that for a while, fearing that it would make me different, more judgmental, less tolerant of other viewpoints or lifestyles, holier-than-thou. And I did not disappoint; in fact, for the first year or so I was like one of those smokers who, after quitting a two-pack-a-day habit, starts trying desperately to get everyone else to quit, even those who aren’t ready. Worse than that, they suddenly start hating smoke, and start preaching about how awful smoking is when they just stopped doing it themselves. No one much likes that person; they seem insensitive and hypocritical. They get much better results when they stop smoking, and then quietly continue not to smoke, setting an example of a healthier, better smelling, more in control of themselves and their habits, person.

So, after the first year of trying to make everyone I loved realize that they needed God in their lives, I began the slow process of quietly continuing to live my life and trying just to set an example.  In fact, with few exceptions, I’ve actually made a concerted effort not to preach, lecture, convince, persuade. Or judge what anyone else believes or how they live their life. If asked, I’ll explain what I mean by something, and if questioned about my beliefs, I’ll do my best to make them understood, but frankly, that doesn’t happen very often. In fact, it’s rare. This hugely important part of my life, this transformation that has affected my husband and me so profoundly, is kind of like our sex life; my kids know it exists but they sure don’t want to ask me questions about it! In fact, the less said about it the better, as I’m sure they’d both agree.

If I do open up and talk about God, as I’ve done with both my kids on rare occasions, I’m totally upfront about it; I’m doing it with the admitted intent of trying to be understood. I’m usually doing it at a very specific time or for a very specific reason, because I know that people who come to God generally fall into two categories: they’ve hit a crisis point in their lives and find themselves reaching out for something or someone far wiser and more powerful than themselves to get them through, or they come to it intellectually, after searching, researching, and gaining the knowledge required to make that choice.

But how can anyone possibly get that knowledge if they don’t ask questions and don’t want to hear about it?

Which brings me back to evangelizing. Evangelizing, despite what the dictionary says, really means sharing. Not trying to convert people or forcing your beliefs on them. The entire theory behind Christianity is that once you’ve shared the gospel, or the “good news,” the people with whom you’ve shared it can, of their own free will, either accept it or reject it. If you accept it, that’s where being “born again” comes into play.

Now, if you’re looking for a phrase that really freaks people out, just try throwing “born again” around a few times. No one seems to know what it means, but it definitely makes them cringe. It certainly used to make ME cringe. Actually, the meaning of “born again” is simple. It’s the conscious choice to cast off the old self and start anew, just like being born… again. No matter how much you think you’ve screwed things up in the past, God has forgiven it all. That’s called grace. It’s the knowledge that you have God’s undeserved forgiveness and unconditional love.

And who wouldn’t want to share that with their kids?

The problem is that that kind of talk doesn’t go over real well with anyone who has trouble with the very concept of God, much less a God who is in control, cares about each of us, forgives us our sins, and uses our struggles to help us grow.

Born again, grace, sins, gospel, good news, undeserved, unconditional GOD. Called to service; lift them up in prayer; it’s a blessing; His will be done. What the heck is she talking about? The words, I’ve discovered, seem like another language, and the phrases are often misunderstood, or worse. And what’s become a natural part of the way I express myself gets in the way of what I’m trying to say.

Which is why this is the first in a series of columns I’ve decided to call “God and Christianity 101.” I’d call it “Christianity for Dummies,” but that would be begging for trouble. At any rate, in the column I’ll try to shed some light on the basics, and dispel some myths. The best thing is, you can read it and no one will ever know!  Unless you enjoy sharing.

Send me your opinions at LParis@netlistings.com