'Loose Talk'
By Benjamin Benedict

An Unfortunate Accident

Since the end of The Second World War, a new European identity has begun to emerge. This has been partially manufactured by ‘The Authorities’, (a conveniently anonymous phrase) but there are certain people in certain places who we can all say, are ‘European’. As someone who under protest holds a European Passport, I have to ask, who are these people, and can you please define Europe, geographically? Suddenly there is not ‘An Authority’ in sight.

The problem concerns what kind of Europe you are taking about; the Lisbon Treaty Europe, the Sporting Europe, the Eurovision Europe, the Euro Europe or the ‘Weights and Measures’ Europe.

The Lisbon Treaty is a new accord which most European governments are proceeding to ratify, when it is clear that the majority of people, at least from the main founding nations do not want it, and have had no direct say in its acceptance. What was originally envisaged was a Common Market which has morphed into an all-powerful, political institution, to be given yet more authority by this new treaty. Like being in hospital, and not allowed to go home, the only recourse is to walk out in your smock, which the Irish (who have the euro as their currency) have just done by voting ‘no’ to it. They are the lucky ones, having been given the opportunity to vote at all. The reason that the UK, France, Germany and the Benelux countries have not been afforded this inalienable right, is that opinion polls show quite clearly, that they would also vote ‘no’. The Lisbon Treaty is therefore an undemocratic travesty of the highest order, unequalled since the days of Napoleon and Hitler, but considerably more insidious than anything either of those so-called gentlemen ever cooked up.

We are on much happier (but not always solid) ground with both Sporting and Eurovision Europe. Crucially, both Turkey and Russia are included in this version. As with all International Sports, the time and distance measurements are universal, so there is nothing for anyone to adjust to. Moscow recently hosted the final of the European Championship for European ‘A’ League soccer teams and Austria and Switzerland hosted The European Soccer Cup of Nations. In a sporting sense, the larger version of Europe is shown to be a very workable construct, although England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland all field their own soccer teams, rather than compete as team UK. Therefore they get knocked out prior to the main contest. Good thinking, guys!  

Eurovision is another thing. There are TV Euro News channels, which must have an audience, but who knows where, and there is famously the Eurovision Song Contest. Here we have a true indicator of the less than solid ground which culturally Europe stands on. The UK’s popular music stems from America, and it punches well above its weight with its own top class productions, but whilst Europeans listen and buy this music in great quantity, they are not natural producers of it. The exception to prove the rule are the minority, ethnic populations of some European countries who have made Hip–Hop their own. The natural beats of Europe range from the Northern Oom-Pa-Pa to the Southern Latin rhythms. It is no surprise that the UK regularly registers a last place in The Eurovision Song Contest, while its musical product easily outsells the grand total of all the others. Jazz is Europe’s only universal music, and does not feature in the Eurovision Song Contest, the last winner of which was a Russian vocalist, accompanied by a solo violinist and an ice skater.

When it comes to currency, Switzerland, Denmark, Sweden, and the UK all have their own money, and not the Euro. The fact is that the UK’s economic pulse, as with music, is tied to America. This is clear historically and particularly at present where the Euro is surging ahead of both UK sterling and the American dollar. It is an inconvenient truth as far as ‘The Authorities’ are concerned, who are particularly determined to create a ‘critical mass’ by adding both the UK and these other very prosperous nations to the Euro currency world.

In terms of weights and measures, the European land mass has a single standard throughout, but again, the UK is a half-way house. It has now adopted kilos and litres, although many are still not sure of exactly what they are, and yes it has centigrade, not farenheight, but it also has inches, feet and miles, not centimetres, metres, and kilometres, although metric measurements (at least in terms of property) have to be given by law. The UK therefore has two sets of measurements, metric and imperial, on all property details.

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