'Loose Talk'
By Benjamin Benedict

Life’s Lessons

Some seem to be blest with an innate understanding of life and it’s vicissitudes, but most spend their days picking up scraps about it and sometimes hopefully about themselves.

On a scale of one to ten, I think that my innate grasp of worldly wisdom merits a three, or four at best and perhaps my saving grace lies in the sneaking suspicion that I should do everything in my power to make it otherwise.

Looking back, I can see that at various times certain key perceptions have come from this pursuit and can only wonder if these are common currency or more uniquely held.

The first thing I was to discover is that my nearest and dearest, know me well but not at all. Those closest to you generally sketch you in the light which is kindest to their eyes, which is natural enough, but not too useful.

Then there was the realization that however pleasant a suggestion may be, the answer should not always be ‘yes’. It can be used against you and even when it is not consciously so, a thoughtless acceptance can lead to misunderstandings and worse.

On the other hand, with someone new, we are always told not to ‘judge a book by it’s cover’ or ‘take things at face value’, but life has taught me otherwise, and it is better, for me at least, to follow my instincts.

Then came the realization, that while I am not in control of my destiny, I can at least steer the boat along the stream and to some extent things can be planned and worked towards. When life gets tough, the tough get going, they say, and very slowly and deliberately I do. It took me a long time to appreciate that speed is not of the essence, but sure and steady motion is.

I also saw that people mainly judge other people’s likely actions and motives by what they do and think themselves, and some understanding of another’s true dynamic can be invaluable.

If this all sounds like common sense, as for instance it would be to say that you should keep cool in a crisis and learn from the past, but not live in it, well then what has always been clear to you has had to have been very painfully drubbed into me, and I can only hope that you have not been the idle recipient of this privileged information, but have used it to your great advantage. If not, then I am afraid that you must have overlooked the cornerstone to it all, which is to act on what you know to be true. 

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